Life is more than a ‘race’!
When I attained the so-called-marriageable-age 15 years back, I remember my parents once told me, “Swapna, we are okay if you want to marry someone you fall in love with; but see to it that the boy is from the same caste.” When I asked ‘why,’ the responses were “there is higher compatibility within the same caste” and “your adjustment into the new household will be quicker.” The reality is a sense of caste supremacy and the aspiration to protect it for the generations to come. Even though caste is not heavy on my parents’ minds in general, tremendous social and peer pressure influenced my parents’ thoughts and actions that particular day. The feelings of caste, race & religion run through everyone’s veins — the degree might vary. It is experienced on an everyday basis with tremendous social conditioning and systemic infusion into everyone’s DNA. The caste pandemic is in our minds for over 2000 years now and is only getting stronger even in the most progressive countries.
As I stepped outside India, I knew this is not over. I witnessed inequality in various forms, sizes, and shapes. There is a constant fight on which ethnicity/religion/caste is supreme and which is subordinate. There are assumptions made, decisions taken, norms defined, people affected, and communities targeted — always leading to either exclusion or inclusion depending on your placement in the invisible yet rigid social hierarchy.
There is a super-strong legacy on caste dominance, which runs for many centuries now. The millions of lives lost in the Holocaust, the slavery for over 12 generations, the white supremacy, black lives matter movement, religious battles, wars, the honor killings, and the elaborate caste system in India — all rotates and revolves around one theme — proving or maintaining the supremacy. Not to forget the domestic/sexual violence and modern slavery, which is a different version of dominance and patriarchy. This very elite dominance and love towards bloodlines have caused many battle lines. While ‘reducing inequalities’ and ‘gender equality’ are on global priority as sustainable development goals, we haven’t made as much progress as we wished to see. With COVID, the people from the bottom rung of the society got affected the most across the world.
The corporate sector has made a lot of progress to drive equality and non-discrimination. While this has shown a positive impact, the deep-rooted feelings and emotions about one’s caste or race are possibly among the most challenging aspects to change. If the state-of-mind of people doesn’t change, real change is not possible. The casteless world and racial equality remain a distant dream, but some advances are made in this space.
In this context, moving away from endogamy (the practice of marrying within a specific social group, caste, or ethnic group) has been a welcome step. Endogamy proved to be a significant step in reducing the caste-prejudices and spreading the values of equality and humanity. This is not an easy task; the current numbers show only 2.6% of inter-religious marriages in a country that is as big and diverse as India. Thanks to the many people moving outside their home countries, which provides an opportunity to explore cross-cultural marriages. This is leading to breaking stereotypes and eliminates the supremacy-subordinate mindset in society. Once perceived as a social taboo, such marriages are gaining more acceptance even in conservative communities. It is impressive how governments have started to support exogamy (the social norm of marrying outside one’s social group) in some countries by offering financial support. It is essential to maintain exogamy’s spirit and intent without exposing to a political or a religious agenda.
Parents have a huge role to play in shaping the minds of the next generation. A fair amount of social conditioning is induced into the children’s minds, shaping their future behaviors or actions towards others. I remember parents (not mine!) who would tell their children whom they should play with and whom they shouldn’t. It is common to ask which caste you belong to; the one who needs to respond either goes through pride or guilt sharing their human ranking order. While there is little we can do to change the minds of the older generation, we can positively influence the upcoming generation to neutralize bias and racial feelings. While my daughter escaped the Indian caste system’s nuisances due to our relocation, I do expect that she will go through her share of experiences in a cross-cultural environment — positive or negative; time will tell.
There are efforts from all directions to curb inequality across the world. There are positive stories from governments, multi-national organizations, NGOs, etc. There are ongoing movements to create a casteless world. But the single most influencing factor starts with conscious efforts to change the human mindset. This is difficult but not impossible. What is our personal stance on this social hierarchy? Are we consciously or subconsciously feeding this system? Are we conditioning our children with thoughts on purity vs. pollution? Are we shifting gears on discrimination depending on whether you are in your personal space or professional space? We need to ask ourselves questions, introspect deeply, eliminate (un)conscious bias, and be the change we want to see.
I read several books this year which in some way or other shed light on (in)equality in various societies. These thoughts are a culmination of what I read and my own introspections on this topic. Even though I come from an orthodox family set-up, my parents are my first teachers who always have shown positive symbols on inclusion and did not pollute my mind on caste, creed or race (of course, except for my marriage episode :)). It made a difference in my life and the lens through which I see the world. I hope to do the same for my girl and contribute to positive changes in my professional space.
To sum it up, I invite you to introspect — what is your personal stance?
